long time no sing

(am I really tired or is that sorta witty?)

Lawzie lou! So much has happened since the last time I blogged.

First, my FIL had a heart attack on Friday. Thankfully, he's doing as good as possible now, but he gave us quite a scare. He'll be coming home tomorrow morning. Because he doesn't have health insurance they're in quite a bind and will no longer be buying our house. Which means we'll be carrying a mortgage down to Auburn with us on a salary that doesn't account for a mortgage. Thankfully it's only about $400 a month, so I can totally cover that while working part time some where.

It's been a world of ups and downs, but right now it's definitely up. God has definitely given us plenty of opportunities to trust in Him, and thanks to my wonderful husband I've been able to see things that way. I know that we'll be taken care of.

We get the UHaul tomorrow and the guys will be loading 'er up. I won't have to lift a finger. Because the house will still be our's we can leave some stuff here (ie: a piano that's a pain in the arse to move) and tha makes life easier.

On the preggers front I've been doing alright. I'm not eating as much of a variety as I should be, but I've been moving around so much I don't feel like I've gained any more. My Kelley took a picture of me - profile - on Christmas Eve, and I don't look like I've gained any there. Although I was sucking it in. It's way too soon to have a bump! :o)

There's soo much I want to tell ya'll, but I'm having to steal time to just "check in" (although I've already rambled more than most of you...) I've been reading blogs off and on, but I haven't left any comments, so let me leave one big one to all of you saying, "Happy New Year!! I love you!! Smooches!!" :o)

I'll check back in ASAP, but if you don't hear from me for a little while don't worry. It might take a while before I brave the dial-up at the church. *gulp*

I hope you all have wonderfully OP New Years!! {{HUGS!}}

PS: Amanda - I don't know how to make Booger's counter bigger - I might have to find a new one. I just stared week 6, though, I think. Yay!

twas the night before Christmas

Editor's Note: Upon reading back over this, I've realized that it's completely spastic and a little disorganized. For this I apologize. I'm blaming my Preggo Brain and the fact that it's not even daylight yet.

Okay. It's more like the butt crack of dawn Christmas morning. More specifically it's 4:20 am. (the more juvenile Mandy would comment on this. Now that I'm a mature & responsible mother I will just gloat at being so above this.) :o)

I woke up this morning at 3:16. I wake up every morning in the three o'clock hour now. This morning what I thought was nausea turned out to be some serious heart burn. Serious. So, since I couldn't sleep I decided to check in.

Most of the family knows that I'm pregnant now, and they're all excited. I've taken to calling the baby Booger because it has to have some sort of name besides "Baby". I hate to admit this, but the hub and I have fallen into a disgusting habit which includes calling one another Baby, so the name was already taken. Speaking of the hub - things have been a little weird between the two of us. I think between me being a little extra hormonal (I know - shocker!) and him not knowing what to do makes us feel a little awkward. Sunday afternoon I let loose on him because he was hitting my leg and was intentionally swerving on the way to church - despite me saying, "Ugh. I so could throw up." I don't want special attention. I know I'm not THAT pregnant. But come on, dummy. At least be nice to me. And ever since then he has been. I cried a little more than what I had to just to make sure he got it. :o)

I'm really not doing well on the food front. It's so hard to watch what you eat at Christmas, but when people are saying, "Go on, eat more. You're eating for two now." it makes it even harder. It's a total lack of will power. Obviously I have no will power against food - I'm the Fat Lady who's not singing yet. I think I should temporarily change my blog title, though. I'm not fat - I'm pregnant! :o) (Actually today I just feel fat)

Once we move (which is in a week from today, btw) I'm hoping that I can get some sort of schedule down which includes exercise and healthier eating. I'm thinking that foods on the Core plan would be a really good guideline, but I think I'm going to tweak it to include low fat dairy and not just fat free dairy. I feel like I need to follow something pretty strictly, otherwise I'll be trying to birth a 10 pound baby in 9 months. (BTW - how come we were never told about this 40 weeks stuff before pregnancy? That's 10 months! I only signed up for 9!! I mean, I have no choice to go along with it now, but they could have warned a girl!)

Well, I'm off to check Google Reader and to update my page a little. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas & I can't wait to hear from ya'll soon! I've missed ya!!

101th

You know what I just realized? My "I'm Pregnant" post was my 100th. That's kinda cool, isn't it? :o)

I started "feeling pregnant" yesterday. I don't quite know how to describe it. It's kind of like a little bit of nausea mixed with excitement. It's slowly sinking in. Just as soon as I think I've mentally mastered it I realize that in nine months I'm going to be a mommy and it all just blows me away again. It's wonderfully enchanting.

And I'm scared to tell my mom. It's like I'm 16 or something.

Because we're moving and our insurance is changing we've elected to wait to go to the doctor until we get to Auburn. Which means I'll have to pick my OBGYN based on recommendations. Fortunately, one of my best friend's sister lived there for a while. Hopefully she has one that she loves. If she doesn't there a few ladies from church that I can ask. I'd just kinda hate that to be one of our first conversations, you know? (good news - I'm knocked up and still a prude!!) :o)

I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be and not supposed to be doing. Like, I know free basing coke is out, but is it okay if I Windex my glasses? I guess I'll be doing more research today. Maybe I can get my hands on a few of ya'll's books suggestions soon.

Somehow my coworker guessed me out yesterday. She said she could just tell. I think it was because I was scarfing down cheese straws. She says it's because she's been pregnant three times. What was it? Did I accidentally wear "mom jeans" yesterday or something? Maybe I'm a little paler than typical. Maybe she could hear my horrific gas trumpeting out of the bathroom. (Sorry - TMI? It's really been bad, though) I thought I was being discrete. Apparently she's a Jedi Master of Preggos. Either way - my mom finds out tomorrow morning. Before someone else tells her that her youngest daughter was walking around Wal-Mart somehow looking pale and green at the same time, horrifically contorting her face in effort to keep from tooting her own horn down the produce aisle.

Oh. And after today I'll be unemployeed. Undefinitely. The lack of income has never made me happier. :o)

Since I don't know if I'll be blogging before Wednesday I want to say that I hope that you all have a Very Merry Christmas. May you and your family be blessed in this special time of year!

xoxo

oh wow

oh wow.

guess what?

I took a pregnancy test yesterday, and it came out positive.

So I took another one - different brand and everything - and that one was positive, too.

I'm Pregnant!


It's really not quite sunk in yet. I haven't started having crazy symptoms or throwing the crockery at my husband. I just didn't start my period on time so I thought I'd take a test.
So I did. :o)

I'm in the fourth week, but I'm only two weeks along. That doesn't quite make sense to me. I'm going to do some major studying today. Either way - the baby is due at the end of August. It's gonna be one hot summer!

We're obviously really excited. We told my MIL last night and she went ape. I'm telling my family at Christmas. I'm going to make them open a gift with some sort of clue in it, or something like that. My brain is mush. I don't quite have it figured out yet.

But can you believe it? I so can't. Don't get me wrong - I'm perfectly content to not be throwing up, but I just feel much more normal than I thought that I would. Hmmmm.

Well, I'm off to compulsively track down pregnancy info. :o)

Hope you have fabulously OP days!

PS: I don't think any of you do, but if you know me IRL, PLEASE keep this quiet until my mom is told (on Sunday). She would be so hurt if she found out someone knew before she did! Thanks!

they so don't know what they're getting themselves into...

The weekend was fabulous. We got our U-Haul's load of boxes down there safely, and our precious new parishioners helped us unload the truck. They're all so excited for us to be there permanently. It's so humbling.

Each time I look at the parsonage I see something else that I absolutely love. Aside from the curtains (which I hope wont hurt any feelings when I remove them) and a room with yellow walls that doesn't match my decor it's absolutely perfect. I can't wait to live there. :o)

We arrived at the church at around 11:00 on Friday night and the sky was just gorgeous. It was an amazingly clear night and I could make out so many constellations. And we even saw a meteor shower. It was like God's Welcome Home gift.

I only have three more days here at work. It's really crazy how fast the time has gone by. I'm so ready for it, but also a little nervous. I guess that's natural.

I felt a little skinny this morning, so I wanted to weight myself but realized that Jeremy had already packed my scale. Oh darn. Christmas without a scale. How ever will I manage? ;o)

I've been having really bad heartburn the past few days so I'm really trying to watch what I eat. I keep thinking "Maybe You're Knocked Up!!" but I'm so trying not to get my hopes up. I did eat an awful lot of spicy stuff the last few days. I'm sure that has a lot to do with it.

Oh, and I have to tell you this. The people of Union have started calling me "The First Lady". How precious is that? It's so much more elegant than "the Preacher's Wife", isn't it? And, since I'm the most elegant person you will ever hope to meet, it's definitely fitting. I really think I need some big thick pearls, don't you? And maybe a hat with flowers? And definitely a rose colored suit (with a skirt that comes past my knees, of course) and some support hose that are three shades darker than my natural pastey complexion (aka - everyone else's skin tone) and some really good quality orthopedic pumps. Then I'll be set.

At least I can still wear my broach collection.
(yes, I really do have a broach collection. I love them more than words can say. But if I were to try to use words to say it they would be something like, "I really love them".)

I hope ya'll have fabulously OP days!!

keepin it real

Whew! We did it! We got all the boxes packed and stacked in the sun porch and still managed to get into bed by 10:00. That's not to imply that I actually fell asleep then, but at least we weren't burning the midnight oil.

I haven't talked about weight loss stuff in a while because I've totally been using ya'll as a stress reliever. Hope you don't mind. The truth is I think that I'm currently just holding steady. I'm not pigging out but I'm not counting points, either. I'm sure it would be possible for a normal person, but I just don't think I can add another stressor right now. And I'm hormonal. Lawsie am I ever hormonal! And I keep thinking, "Ohh I might be pregnant!" and that just makes things a little worse.

But how awesome would it be to be pregnant right now? I could so totally get away with not having to lug around those heavy boxes or help move furniture. Never mind that my mother moved while she was eight months pregnant with me, and obviously nothing is at all wrong with me. Jeremy has this concept of what a pregnant woman can and cannot do, with the cannot list a lot longer than the can's, and I'd just hate to burst his little bubble. Descent of me, isn't it? :o)

I'm almost finished with my Christmas shopping and that forced day off will actually help out a lot. I can run into a nearby city and finish it up. Each year Jeremy and I get each other an ornament and I've been looking all over my hometown trying to find a church ornament. So far, nothing. Not even on a web site. So I'll go to my favorite of all favorites - Hobby Lobby - and find a really good one. I might also get my hair cut.

Oh! And I got new funky glasses! I'm so excited about them. They're brown plastic frames that sort of have an understated cat-eye thing going. A little dorky, a little spunky, and definitely affordable. (just like me!) The hub even likes them. I can't wait until they come in.

We're heading down to Auburn tonight with a 14ft U-Haul and me in tow. We ordered a 10ft'er, but they sent a 14ft one and we're doing our best to not waste the extra (free!) space. Ya'll just pray for me. I'll have 4 hours all by myself on the trip down and there's no telling what sort of fantasy land I'll be living in by the time I get there. I'll probably be having two sided conversations about what color the drapes at the palace should be. Oh I so hope the impersonations don't come out. They're so annoying. Well, maybe my loverly satellite radio will save my sanity.

Well I hope you all have fabulous weekends and I'll see you on Monday!!

*smooches!!*

what are they going to do, fire me?

Okay, so, when I gave my notice in here at work I sorta joked with my boss saying, "You know I've never quit a job that I didn't want to leave before. Maybe you can make me mad on my last day so that I won't cry." Well, he LOVED that and has told all the rest of the partners as many times as possible. *rolls eyes* I'm kissing booty as I'm going out the door.

I never in my life thought that he would take me seriously and actually piss me off. But he did. And here's the story. I like to call it "That Time My Boss Pissed Me Off - Chapter 8745"

They hired my replacement yesterday. A pretty little sorority girl who has another semester left before she receives her BS in Accounting. A good choice, I think. The polar opposite of me, obviously, but that's probably a good thing.

I was almost excited when it was said that I'd have a few days to train her. "Whew!" I thought, "Now I won't feel like I'm leaving them hanging." And then I thought, "It's not tax-season. What am I supposed to do? Train her how to narrate her life in a blog? Teach her to become obsessed with key websites that are wholly inappropriate for the office? Teach her to make long distance phone calls to her bff in Tokyo?" Well, whatever. I'll show her what little can be done right now and then I'll continue my daily fascination with the Pioneer Woman. (I just learned how to do that - aren't you proud?)

So then my boss tells me yesterday that he would like for me to take a day or two off next week so that she can go at it on her own, with me being close to my phone as a safety net. "Oh yay!" I thought. "A couple of days at home. I could spend an entire day in my pj's. I wouldn't have to wear make up or even shower if I didn't want to." (which if I wasn't going anywhere I probably wouldn't.) The he says, "You've got some vacation stored up, right?" and it hits me - he's forcing me to take a vacation day. He's taking money away from me. I had intentionally saved those vacations and PTO days so that when we go through our 2 weeks of unemployment we won't be hurting for money. Oh yeah, and I did I mention that it's Christmas and we're moving here, boss? So I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm seriously tempted to work overtime to make up for it. Then he'll have to pay me time and a half. *evil laugh*

We'll see. I might consider it as being "on-call" and just not turn in the mileage for driving 100 miles away to go to the company Christmas party he forced me to attend. (Oh, I didn't tell you about that? That was "That Time My Boss Pissed Me Off - Chapter 8744") I'm sure that won't happen either because my dag blame conscious won't let me. Oooh! I know. I'll just take a butt load of office supplies with me. There's this electric stapler I've been eyeing ever since the first day walk in the door.....

Have Wonderfully OP Days, Ya'll!

things I will not discuss with a parishioner (ever again)

1. When telling said parishioner that I saw him driving down Main Street, I will not suggest that I was stalking him. This will completely prevent the statement, "Good! I love it when hot little things stalk me!" and thus preventing the lobster like flush that followed.
2. I will never in any circumstance whatsoever allude to, suggest, hint, or in other way allow the idea that my husband (his pastor) and I are trying to conceive, avoiding the wise advice to "stand on my head".
3. Once saying that standing on my head was not a viable option for me, I will not delve that I had 13 casts before 6th grade, making me the biggest freak of nature ever to become a preacher's wife.
4. I will not suggest that said member talks way too much and that I really pray for his wife. Then I will not try to smooth things over by saying that I too talk way too much and that he should be praying for my husband.
5. When it is said that I am favored over dear sweet Jeremy I will not agree whole heartedly and then try to console them by saying that I thought it was the general consensus of the congregation, but as I can not be the preacher's wife without the preacher suggest that we keep him.
6. And as I will never have such a conversation again, I will not enjoy it to its fullest extent. I will not allow myself to be goaded into saying more and more outrageous things only to hear the side splitting laughter on the other side. And I will not be forced to think about said conversation over and over, cringing at the inappropriateness of it all, knowing that I will surely be teased by all the private information released.

Oh well. At least we'll be moving four hours away in a few weeks! :o)

it's a technicolor Christmas

So, I'm finally calmed down a little. There's probably about 10 more boxes that have to be packed by Thursday night, and I can so handle that. I want to get my house picked up before then, too, because Jeremy's nosey uncle is coming over to help him load everything while I'm at work on Friday. I know he'll go in every single room possible and I'm not about to let him find dirty underwear. (Did I just admit that there's dirty underwear on my floor?) But I'm just so grateful that he's helping I'm not even going to complain about it.

Okay. It's time for another confession from Mandy. Are you ready for this?

I absolutely love tacky Christmas sweaters. (not that all Christmas sweaters are tacky, I just love the tacky ones...) I can't explain it. I know that they're tacky. I know that Stacy and Clinton would fry me at the steak for wearing it. I know that my husband is slightly embarrassed by it. But I don't care. I love them. Last year I had found the absolute perfect tacky Christmas sweater. It was pink and had this cute collar and it said "Merry Christmas" in funky colors. Shear tacky Christmas sweater perfection. And now it's too big for me. So I've been searching frantically for a replacement to wear this weekend to the Christmas pageant at our new church and I can't find anything to fit the bill. My favorite so far was heavy on the leopard print, and it was a little too tacky for this occasion. I have to find something that meets me half way. Like one that's not your typical Christmas colors but doesn't have all the bells and whistles. (although a sweater with bells and whistles would be really cool...) I might have to settle for a tacky Christmas vest. At least that way it can come off if needed... (but vests are even tackier than sweaters, no?)

Okay. So now you know. I hope it doesn't make you hate me. I'm just being real, yo.

Hope you all have wonderfully OP days!!

oh no you did'ent!

Oh my. It's such a relief that I'm a natural kind of girl. I don't wear much makeup, and everything else on me is what God gave me. It's a relief because right now I'd be pulling out my hair plugs and snapping off my fake nails if I had 'em. And then I'd just be left with a cold bottom and damaged nail beds...

Our plumbing messed up again last night. My dear sweet long suffering heroic hub called last night before I got off work and told me that the toilet was suddenly overflowing, and he hadn't flushed it in over an hour. Luckily I wasn't there to deal with the carnage (although I did have to hear about it) and I told him to call a plumber. And this time he listened to me right away and called Mr. Rooter. So, he didn't get to go with me last night to the charity Christmas party we were planning on attending. And while he was knee deep in last week I was enjoying my mother's boss impersonating Elvis. I should have felt guilty, but all I felt was relief that I didn't have to deal with it. And it's fixed now. :o)

I'm looking forward to Saturday when I'll be packing boxes and avoiding anyone I won't allow to see me in my pj's from 40 pounds ago. (which excludes everyone but my husband and my cats) Maybe I can get enough done that I'll stop waking at 2:27 every morning, hyperventilating from the shear lack of things not crossed off my to do list. (I haven't been doing this, but it makes me smile to think that it's something that I would do if I didn't sleep like a bear in winter when I do eventually slip into slumber)

And it makes me feel so much better about myself to know that there's other Wrappers Anonymous here in this world. And MMalloy, I totally scope out the other rival presents to make sure mine's the best wrapped, too. If God had not blessed me with these wonderfully magical talents I would not have to struggle so with my pride. :o) (how cocky was that statement?)

It's taken me about an hour to write this blog because I've been interrupted a few times (and I'm at WORK! Don't these people have any sense of decency?) and by now I'm laughing at myself. My faith in my ability to accomplish something at the last minute (although it is what I hate most in this world) is kicking in (or maybe it's the Xanax...) and I'm thinking I can handle it. Now if I can only remember that at 2:27 tomorrow morning.

I hope you all have wonderfully OP weekends!!

Smooches!

obsession confession

Whew! It's been one of those mornings. For some reason I just could not get my booty in gear and I ended up running late. I'm sure the forty billion different outfit changes didn't help matters either. See, I was roped into attending 2 separate Christmas functions yesterday. One is tonight and one is tomorrow night, so I had to totally reassess the wardrobe situation. I still don't have a lot of clothes in this size (like 3 pairs of dress pants with various tops...) so I have to really navigate through. So, needless to say I didn't make it to the scale this morning. It's probably just as well - we ate Mexican food last night. (And I thought of my favorite pregnant cyber friend!!) I got the fajita taco salad, so I made a descent choice, but the chips I munched on probably caused some water retention.

I'm doing my best to not freak out about the lack of stuff not accomplished, but everyone seems to be doing their best the steal my time. I was planning on packing all tonight, tomorrow night and all weekend, but it looks like that's not happening. I have to have a 10 ft UHaul's worth of boxes in a week, and I'm no where there. But the up side is that I'm caught up on Christmas stuff. (I just remembered the church Santa Party I'm supposed to plan - so, well, I'm ALMOST caught up!) I just have a few more presents to buy, and everything that I have bought is wrapped.

I have this sick love of wrapping presents and it can take me 30 minutes easy to wrap just one. I try not to take that long, but I'm such a perfectionist with that sort of thing. And I've learned how to make a new style of bow this year, too. The hub made fun of me last night when I showed him our nephew's present. I had wrapped it with this gorgeous olive drab green foil paper and used a sort of rusty gold ribbon for his bow. And Jeremy said, "honey, you just spent no telling how long on that pretty pretty package just for him to rip it open". Oh well. It makes me happy. (and besides, my mom is a freak about wrapping, too, and with this new bow I'm totally kickin her little arse this year!) :o)

So there's just one more sick thing that you probably wished you didn't know about me!

Have a wonderfully OP day!

just checking in...

I just wanted to post a quickie (hee!) this morning. We're interviewing replacements for me all day today and tomorrow, so I have a ton to do. I just wanted to say, "Yay! The scale is going down!!" It was somewhere around 191.4 this morning. The only thing that I've successfully changed is my breakfast and lunch routine (and no 3 pm cocoa...), and I'm not doing the best that I can in the evenings, but for now it's enough of a change to help.

Last night I was daydreaming about taking morning walks when I no longer have to slap on trousers and heels every day. That right - me wanting to exercise. It was a disturbing thought! :o)

Have a Wonderful OP Day!!

14 days and counting

That's how many business days I have left as a working girl! The time is flying by and I still have sooo much left to accomplish. That's okay. I can handle it.

Now for the diet blah stuff: YesterDAY was wonderfully OP, but the evening proved to be a problem. Jeremy wanted pizza, and since he had an almost migraine all day I caved and picked up a Little Ceasar's then remembered that my nephew's birthday party started at 6:00. So I ate pizza thinking that I wouldn't eat anything else, then went to the party and ate roast, mac & cheese, and baked beans. Oh, and cake and ice cream. Then I came home and ate some fig nutens. (or however they're spelled) WHY? I have no idea why. Because it was THERE. It's all so shameful and sad. I'm really going to mull over it today and try to figure out what my deal is. I mean, I want to at least be at my smallest pronto, and I want my new denim trousers to fit me well again, and I don't want for these pants that I'm wearing to fit so well, but after 5 pm I'm not doing anything about it. I think I'm going to set up some sort of time law. Like after 7 I can't eat anything, period. That seems a little tough, though. I'm just frustrated with myself this morning.

However, one good thing about the party was that I got to see the ultrasounds of the peanut that I call Mandy, Jr. It made me so happy, and I totally faked that I could tell what every thing was. :o) Her new due date is July 15, so at least she'll have him/her before it gets too hot. Hopefully I won't be that lucky! :o)

I would like to ask for ya'll to pray for her, though. This baby was a total miracle to begin with because she had been told for years that she probably wouldn't be able to have children. She only has one functioning ovary and she has endometriosis. The OBGYN himself said that God must have just wanted her to have a baby. (It was finding all this out that made me snap out of my selfish fit and get excited for them...) But yesterday during the ultrasound they found a big cyst on her ovary. The doctor said that they usually go away on their own, so I'm not super worried about it. I just don't want Cyrena worried. I know I would be if it were me and my baby. I just know that God is going to protect this child, and my prayer is that He gives them peace. They're so young, and they have so many things going against them.

So, thank-you for your prayers. I know in my heart of hearts that it changes things!

I hope you have a wonderfully OP day!!

warm fuzzies

Well, the good news is that the previous posting of 197.6 was some sort of water retention fluke. I weighed myself Sunday morning and it was closer to 193. It's not great, but it's better. I had a great OP day on Friday - lots of water and healthy foods, but the rest of the weekend wasn't as healthy. And I drank next to no water. I feel so dry that I could crumble up and blow away. I don't know why it's so hard to drink my water while at home. It's something I've gotta figure out before the move - there won't be any water coolers for this future house wife. (That's still blowing my mind.)



Thanks so much for all of the sweet & encouraging comments. Unfortunately my hub is a little weird about the crock pot. It's all good unless I want to leave the house with it on. (I know - that's the point, right?) I think he's afraid that it'll burn the house down. He's going to have to get over that, but until then it's not an option. The salads and Lean Cuisines are, though. I'll figure it out. At least during the work week I can have super healthy meals. My skinny coworker and I have taken to eating lunch together and we hold each other accountable. (Which means I don't pig out in front of her!) :o)



I have to tell you the sweetest thing. Jeremy has gotten bitten by the baby bug. There's this little girl at our church who is 6 months now, and he is absolutely crazy about her. He's constantly holding her and kissing her fuzzy little head. And then every time we come home from church he asks, "Can we have a baby NOW?" and I'm like, "umm, honey, that's what we're trying to accomplish here" and he says "No, NOW." lol. It's so cute and makes me so glad that we decided to wait until we knew that we could handle a baby. It makes my heart melt to see him so excited about it.

I don't think I've told ya'll yet that my little brother and his wife are expecting a baby in July. Yep. The one that was just married in September. It totally freaked me out and upset me that my brother who is five years younger than I am would have a child older than mine, but I'm okay with it all now. I know it's incredibly selfish sounding but I had a hard time with it for a while there. Now I'm pushing for them to name my new niece or nephew after me. :o)

Well, I hope you all have fabulous OP days!!

the good, the bad and the ugly

The Good:

Jeremy and I have been called to a church outside of Auburn, AL. It's a wonderful opportunity to serve a really sweet church, and it's totally a God thing. And it was the secret that I was hinting around a few months ago. His first Sunday will be January 6th of 2008 so we'll be moving the first week of the year.

The community is actually called Little Texas, which is about 4 hours away from here. It won't be too far away from family, but it's a little daunting to move all of my earthly possessions four hours away. We'll take a 10 ft U-Haul truck's worth of boxes down on December 15th, so I'm packing like crazy. It has been a crazy time in our lives filled with quick meals and junk. Which leads me to...

The Bad:

I haven't blogged in a month of Sundays. Mainly because I just didn't feel like putting myself out there. I'm an extrovert, but I have had so much people time that I just drew into my shell a little. Not so much that people IRL would notice, but Cyber Mandy definitely didn't want to talk. (Shocker, I know) And you know I avoid you guys when I'm not eating well, and I so totally have not been making good choices. I haven't gone grocery shopping in who knows when. We've been eating either scavenger type meals or quick fast food. Pizza and chicken fingers have been my diet for the past month, and it so totally shows. This, of course, leads me to...

The Ugly:

I woke this morning to an exercise machine infomercial blaring on the tv, and it made me feel like total crap. I knew that I had been bad bad bad, and I needed to face the music. So I nervously stepped on the scale and it read 197.6! Yep. That's about 16 pounds from my lowest weight, which was at the end of August. It was a huge wake up call. I mean, here I am trying to get pregnant and I'm treating my body like a garbage dump. I kept telling myself that once we moved I would get back on track, but I almost procrastinated myself out of Onederland!

So, here's the plan. I know I can't diet once I get knocked up, but I sure can do my best to get back down before I get the little plus sign on the stick. And then once I am pregnant I can just be sensible about it. I think I had already started eating for two. :o)

But, I still have serious time constraints on my hands. How am I suppose to do a healthy dinner on the fly with my house turned upside down? Well, if worst comes to worst I can live off of SubWay while the hub gets whatever junk it is he thinks he needs. Any suggestions would be wonderful. That's assuming, of course that I haven't made all of you horribly mad at me.

Big thanks to all of you who have checked in, even though I've been MIA.
Now I'm going to check in with all of you and see what's gone down since I've been gone. :o)

I hope all of you have Happy Fridays and wonderful OP weekends!!

at least it's Friday... :o)

Hey Ladies!

I know I've been horrible about not blogging lately. I just haven't felt like it this week. It's been a rough one. I've taken care of a flu ridden hub while having some other cold myself, dealt with a clogged sewer line and resetting our (one and only!!) toilet, had the most horrible TOM ever (a little bit of drama queen), burned my hand to the point of considering the ER, and had a deadline to deal with here at work. Tonight we're going to Atlanta again for the last part of our class, and I made brownies for a bake sale last night, just to burn them while I was freaking out over my hand. Needless to say, I'm not contributing to the bake sale. These things only happen to me. No. Really. I have the worst luck in the world. God must know that I can handle it, and it's really useful when searching for a way to give others a good laugh.

I'm over my horribly difficult week enough to laugh about it now, but when I was in the middle of it I definitely did not want to focus on it.

I hopped on the scale this morning and I knew I'd be up. And I was. I know it's TOM related, but that's not all of the weight. I'm sure some of it has to do with not caring about what was going into my body this week. And tons and tons of Orange Juice. So I'm trying my hardest to reel it back in today. And I need more water!!

I know I want to get back to where I was, but I'm not sure how I feel about trying to get out of my new clothes. I'm sure it's the cheapo in me, but if I'm going to have to buy a whole new wardrobe soon (ie: maternity clothes) I really can't see buying a size smaller just to wear them for a little while. We really can't afford that right now. And I'm really happy with myself where I am. But I don't want to bail out, either. I'm not sure. I just wish I'd hurry up and get pregnant so I don't have to make that decision. :o) Well, I know I need to lose about 7 pounds to get back to my lowest, so I guess I'll just focus on that right now. I just hate this yo-yo'ing.

I've decided not to beat myself up over it. I've dealt with this crazy week in the best way that I could, and I know that all the relapsed weight didn't just happen this week, and I'm just going to turn it around.

See why I haven't blogged? Nothing fun to talk about and a dilemma that ya'll will think is silly. :o)

Well, I'm going to get over myself and take these free minutes to check in on ya'll.

I hope you have wonderful weekends!!!

PS: Amanda, I promise that I'm not pregnant. Ugh. I thought I was, but I'm not. I would never be able to keep something like that from ya'll! :o)

long time no see

Sorry it's been forever since I've checked in. I've just been blah lately. I think I'm suffering from burn out, or something. I'll get over it soon, I think. I know it's just my state of mind.

Meanwhile I've been successfully maintaining. I don't really know how, but I know the scale isn't moving much up or down. I feel like TOM is just around the corner, but it won't go ahead and get it over with. It was supposed to be over with by Friday, but nothing yet. You know the feeling. "Come on already! I'm ready for my body back, please!" I've just been bloated and a little quick to cry, but not really a hormone monster. The unexplainable anger and frustration hasn't happened, so I guess it's all good. :o) (I'm sure you all really wanted to know about my cycle and state of mind, didn't you?)

We're having a "Harvest Party" at church on Saturday, and Jeremy and I have decided to dress up like hippies. Sadly, I already had appropriate clothes in my wardrobe. All we had to buy was wigs (he's wearing an afro and I'm wearing long blond hair) and blue eye shadow. It should be really cute. Jeremy disturbingly really likes the blond wig. Lol. I now know why Cher always flipped her hair in that weird way. Having hair past your butt is a pain! After our party we're going to my dad's for our annual bonfire. I guess I'll have to ditch the wig after everyone gets to see our costumes. I'm sure it's really flammable and as clumsy as I am...

That's about it in Mandy Land. I guess that's one reason I haven't blogged. I don't really have anything to say, if you can believe that!

Well I'm off to see what ya'll have been up to. Have Great OP Days!!

a bleah blog

Ick. I'm bloated and my tummy hurts. I thought it was TOM symptoms last night, but my poor hub woke up at 2 with intense stomach cramps, too. I guess we got a bug or something. I hope it all settles down soon. He felt better this morning, but mine's still lingering. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't HAVE to come to work today. My coworker is out of town and that only left our boss to come in and open the office and I knew it wasn't worth it. Maybe he'll have pity on me and let me leave early.

It's not that bad, really. I just don't want to be here. :o)

But it's Friday and that's reason enough to be happy, right?

I hope you all have wonderful weekends!

I love Wednesdays!

I really do love 'em. I really don't know why, I just do. So yay for Wednesday! :o)

Remember a little while back when I said that I was afraid of Mandy with out birth control? Well, she hasn't been that bad. Despite the extra stress of this week and several funerals to attend I've managed to only cry once. And that was after a sad movie. (Had I realized that it was sad I wouldn't have watched it...) And I haven't been mean to my hub, either. I called after work last night to warn him that I was feeling extra stressed and maybe a little irrational, but I didn't even have to control myself. I wasn't feeling like a hormone monster at all. So yay!

That just goes to show you that God really does answer prayers, 'cause I'm sure my sweet hubby has been doing some major praying this week! :o)

And I expected a big headache, too, because a few days off the hormones always gave me a splitting eye headache. But I'm on day six with no drugs and no headache. I'm beginning to think that I'm actually going to like not having these extra hormones I was so dependent upon. And maybe I'll lose a few extra pounds, too. Mom always said that BC made you gain weight.... (but I honestly always thought that she said that to prevent me from taking it BEFORE marriage!) lol.

Okay, sorry I'm rambling on about this. It's just fascinating to me. :o)

I got some new clothes in last night from Wal-Mart.com. I've been cruising the clearance racks from all my favorite online stores and I've managed to find a few things pretty cheap. And shipping isn't bad either. I'm wearing one of my new outfits today and the whole thing cost less than $20. I've never shopped for clothes online and actually bought anything before, but I could really get the hang of this. Since I'm such a regular size it's hard to find cute stuff on the clearance racks (I mean, really, how many woman wear large tops and 14/16 bottoms? A ton!) and this way I can find the cute stuff and just return them at the store if it doesn't fit. I found some great Dockers khaki's for the hub from Sears, too. They were only $24.99 a piece and I got free shipping. I think he's scared that I've found a way to bargain shop while at work. But how cool is it that I'm getting paid to shop? I love it! :o)

I hope you all have wonderful Wednesdays!!

Is it Friday yet?

Thanks for all of your supportive comments yesterday. The in-laws behaved marginally well, so that's a relief, and my ten hour work day flew by. Today is another busy busy day (because "we" didn't get it all done yesterday) but I can handle that.

The scale is up, and I'm thinking that it could be from an upcoming TOM. Or it could be eating too much junk. Whatever it is, it's not something that I can't handle. I'm sure if I pound the water for the next few days it'll be back down.

I've gotta figure out what I'm going to be for Halloween. Any suggestions for an easy, cheap costume? (umm... that is, one that's easy and cheap to make, not one that makes me look cheap and easy) :o)

I hope you all have wonderful Tuesdays!!

a little vent...

My weekend was non-existant. I feel horrible complaining about it, but I can because it's ya'll and I know you love me. :o)

Jeremy's great aunt died in a really bad car accident on Friday. I never got to meet her, but she was a really sweet lady. He was asked to do the funeral and so most of our weekend was spent either with the family or preparing. But that's not what I'm complaining about, really. It's part of being in the ministry.

My complaint is my FIL's family. Ya'll, they are so bad. Like, bad bad. Like, pulling weapons on each other, selling pills, cheating, cussin, mean, lying, horrible people. And I'm being nice. (okay, not really, but I'm definitely not exaggerating.) The lady who died's immediate family is really sweet, but all the rest of them are no count. (That's what my MIL calls them.) :o) We have nothing to do with them at all costs, but there was no avoiding them this weekend. And they definitely put on a show. At least the funeral is today and then I won't have to see them for a while. It sounds horrible, I know, but it's the truth.

So, needless to say, when I had to come in to work an hour early to make up for time lost at the funeral I was in a bad mood. I'm not a morning person to begin with, but I had a serious case of the grumps... and then I read ya'll's blogs and it brightened my day. So now you can spend the rest of the day knowing that you're personally responsible for me not going crazy ballistic on the in-laws that I don't claim. :o)

So, I'm off to actually work. Today's the busy deadline day that I've been mentioning and it's really not busy enough. (as in, peeps aren't getting enough work in to me and things are totally not going to get done on time - but as long as it's not my fault...)

Happy Monday!! :o)

can you keep a secret?

Psst. Hey. Come over here. I wanna tell you something. But you gotta promise not to tell anyone else, okay?

Jeremy and I decided last night that we are no longer going to prevent pregnancy. As in, the BC pills are going in the trash. Yay!! :o)

We decided that we're trusting God with every aspect of our lives. And we're going to trust God with our children's lives, so why not trust Him in the timing of those lives being created?

I personally have no qualms against birth control. Obviously, I've been on it for the past three years, but it has felt like I was taking control of things too much. For some woman that's a good thing, but for me it was taking my babies out of God's hands. I've wanted children with every fiber of my being for a while now (like, nearly 3 years...) and it gives me so much peace to know that it'll happen when it's supposed to. Now, I know that God can overcome the powers of birth control, but this way I'm not putting myself in His way. Does that make sense?

So you're the first and only people that I'm telling. It's too weird to tell people IRL. I know they know what we're up to (mainly because they razz us about if for some weird creepy reason. No one wants their mother saying, "Fooling Around" at all, much less as often as mine says it!) But if I tell them that we're trying then they'll KNOW what we're up to.

Oh goodness. And when we have to announce that we're pregnant, they'll definitely know. I'm gonna die.

They say that prudish woman are no longer prudes after birth. We'll see. :o)

Have Great OP Weekends!!

Toot Your Own Horn Tuesday

Yesterday was another non-OP day. Darn. Between this unexpected, unfair TOM and the extra stress of this week (all you other accountants and accounting support staff can understand...) I just can't handle it. So I'm going to maintain. I'm not taking the week off - I'm just not going to add one more thing to my crazy week. Besides, I've never worked on maintaining before. I'm either OP or waay off plan so it'll be good to have this week of "normal eating habits". That is, the eating habits that I want to have once I stop trying to get this last 10 pounds off.

So, since I'm not going to be blogging about the things we put ourselves through to lose weight, I've decided to blog about loving ourselves. I know - I've blogged about it before, but it's a big deal to me. I was cruising some sites yesterday and I found a really interesting one about BMI. Now, I personally think the whole concept is a bunch of bunk. According to them I'm obese and until I get under 145 I'll be overweight. My mother weighs 145 and she's tiny - and two inches shorter than I am. According to "them" my mom's overweight, too. And she's a size 6/8. She's a tiny little crazy running around thing and they think she's overweight. That's why I think it's bunk. But, just in case you think this is some sort of anomaly, check out this http://kateharding.net/bmi-illustrated/

People come in all different shapes and sizes. I don't think that God created us to all look the same, and I'm finally getting that into my thick head. (pun intended!)

So, check it out and form your own opinions. Be sure to notice the atypical triathlete while you're there. That one even surprised me. :o)

And be sure to toot your own horn today. Love yourself and let others love you, too.

Now let's all gather around the camp fire and sing Kumbaya. :o)

boo!

I did so great Friday and Saturday. I was totally OP - and I even faced down some really sinful looking chocolate cheesecake at the cookout.

But then Sunday it wasn't so good. I started out fine with breakfast, but after church the hub really wanted Mexican food...

My chips, rice and beans were definitely not low carb, but I at least ordered fajitas and not something fried. And then I felt guilty and decided for some strange reason to have a cheat day. But it wasn't too bad. I think the only other non-low carb thing I ate was an apple strudel, but that sucker had to be loaded and it wasn't that good.

But I'm gonna blame it all on TOM because I started today and it's not even my turn! (sorry if it's TMI - shoulda warned ya'll) It's not fair, but at least it explains the gain that I saw on the scale on Saturday (before my bad cheat day...). So I'm throwing back the water today and getting right back on the horse. I'm gonna try not to weigh myself for a few days so that I can assume that my efforts are working again and not let this surprise TOM get me down.

I do have to say that I at least had some control on my cheat day. I didn't eat everything in the house. So that's good, I guess. We can't be perfect 24/7, but I was hoping that I could make it OP for a good stretch. But today is a new day, and my body has already worked out all that sugar.

I'm so proud of the progress that all of you are making. Ya'll keep up the good work & have wonderfully OP days!! :o)

and all the heavens sang

I was totally unaware of the controversy surrounding James Frey. I really don't care because I read it like it was fiction, so that just goes to show you how "aware" I am of Oprah. :o) It is disappointing that the author was such a poser. Who would want to claim that sort of lifestyle? That's like a chronically skinny girl claiming that she was once fat.... (Okay, maybe not quite the same thing)

So today is Friday. Ahhh Friday. The day before the weekend. The day of anticipation of what's to come. The day of jeans at the workplace. And its the day of WI for Christmas Challenge. You know I've had a really good week when I get all excited about WI. :o) And here's the results: (hold on to your panties!) 182.6. That's 3 down from last week (and like 7 down from the beginning of this week). Now I totally realize that it's water weight, or crazy Atkins loss, or Alien abduction of fat cells or something crazy, but it's a loss. And if I keep it up it'll be permanent.

I'm still rockin along with the low carb. And I have a NSV to boot: I didn't scarf down my entire plate of food. We went to Ruby Tuesdays last night and I got the petite sirloin, broccoli & mashed cauliflower. And the salad bar, of course, because what person in their right mind can resist it? Well, I ate a big salad with lots of low carb yummies and when my food came I only ate about half the food. I realized that I was full and that I was satisfied and that I didn't need to eat anymore. This is HUGE for me because I'm such a carnivore and I LOVVE steak and I was really digging the mashed cauliflower. But I just got a to-go box and it'll be a meal for me sometime in the near future. What's really cool is that I could have eaten it all and Dr. Atkin's wouldn't have had a problem with it at all. But Core would and I chose to listen to reason. :o)
Yay Me! :o)

I could ramble on forever today, but I'm gonna spare you all. Instead I'm gonna go check out some of my co-Christmas Challenger's blogs.

Good Luck to all my Canadian friends as they face their Thanksgiving this weekend, and may you all have totally OP weekends, whatever your plan may be. (That sounded totally WW zen, didn't it?) :o)

inspiration from an unlikely source

I'm totally kickin Dr. Atkin's booty. I'm limiting the fats & still doing Atkins straight up. And the scale is showing it already. I was 184 exactly this morning - so that's already a pound lost from last week. Official Christmas Challenge WI is tomorrow so I'm excited to be able to post a loss. :o)

I just finished reading a book called A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. Have any of ya'll read this yet? It's one of Oprah's books, but I bought it because I found it really cheap at a warehouse store. (Although Oprah seems to have pretty good taste in books...)

It's about a guy going through rehab and the people he meets there. I won't ruin it for you, but it really make me think. I mean, if there's people out there trying to kick drug addiction the least I can do it kick the carbs, right? I may have had a slight headache the past few days, but these people go through some serious DT's. And if a crack addict is strong enough to come off of it, then surely I am too. It just sorta puts things in perspective, you know?

But before you run out and buy this book, I must add my disclaimer. The language used is filthy. Horribly filthy, so much so that I sorta became immuned to the f-word. And I really don't like that word. But I personally think it's worth skipping over words to get the meat of it. But it's offensive. (But not racist or degrading to women. Although the protagonist is an atheist there's an overall support in the belief of God...) I would love to take a lit class on this book.

Okay. Now I'm showing you how nerdy I really am. But just think about that, ladies. Really think about what some people have to endure. And in most cases, they're in the place that they're in for the same reasons we are where we are - We decided to abuse a substance. I abused food. They're abusing hard drugs. We're the fortunate ones by far.

I know this line of thinking has made me feel much stronger against temptations. I hope maybe it does a little something for you, too.

Have Wonderful OP Days!!

Livin La Vita Low Carb

I know you've probably heard me say this a million times, but it makes me giggle every time. What can I say? It doesn't take much to get me tickled! :o)

Yesterday went pretty well. I stayed completely OP, and I didn't eat after 7'ish. (we won't mention that it's because I went to bed early with my headache and the hub wouldn't fix me turkey bacon because he said that it had nitrates that would just make my head hurt worse. I don't know if this is true or not. I half-way believe that he just didn't want to do it. How mean is that?) :o)

Today is off to a much better start. My headache is gone, I'm already drinking the water *stops to guzzle more* and my breakfast was much yummier. Two eggs and three pieces of turkey bacon. And a cup of coffee. Yum yum.

Today is my last day sans exercise. I'm walking tomorrow with my mom and I'm gonna try to keep it up. I'm feeling pretty good. I'm not eating too much fat and I'm getting in lots of good protein. I'll really have to work on getting in the greens, though. All I had yesterday was a salad.

Oh! And I was teasing Randi because this weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving and she asked us to keep her accountable. Well, I really rubbed it in that I wasn't going to have those temptations this weekend and I could be really hard on her. Karma must have caught up with me because we were invited last night to a cook out on Saturday. There's no telling what they'll have there (definitely hamburgers) and it'll be a real challenge for me to stay OP, but I'm bound and determined to do it. I'm gonna bring a few low carb sides like deviled eggs and maybe a seven layer salad or something. And I guess I'll bring some sugar free pudding for dessert 'cause there's no telling what the sweets will be. But it'll be the first time my whole family has gotten together since my little brother was married, so it'll be nice to have our first family dinner. I'm sure my little sister will bring her bf, but I guess we can allow one non-family member. :o)

I hope you all have wonderfully OP days!

{{hugs!}}

give me drugs!!

I've got a huge headache this morning. Maybe carb withdrawals? It seems awfully early since I've just had one meal sans carbs. Maybe my body knows what I'm fixing to do to it and it's rebelling.

Randi & Candace have gotten on to me for being all over the map, and I totally hear you girls. I've talked a big game about doing one thing or another, and honestly I just haven't done it. Not for enough days in a row to really be following a program. So, I'm going to do a modified Atkins (again, modified as in I won't eat unlimited amounts of fat) and jump start myself. I need to see some drop on the scale in order to stay OP. Thank goodness I've never hit a real plateau - I don't think I have what it takes to make it through that. My deep respect goes out to you ladies who have.

I started my morning with 2 eggs and a sausage patty. It was one of those pre-cooked thingies and it was really nasty. I squeezed no telling how much grease out of that sucker before I ate it, and it still was gross. I think I'll let the hub eat the rest of those babies and I'll stick to turkey bacon. I love that stuff and it's really easy to fix here at work. I'll eat a grilled chicken salad from somewhere to get in some greens and I have some lf cheese and a low carb/low sugar yogurt smoothie thingie for snack. I'm gonna have to get some benefiber or something like that to keep me regular since I'm sure I'll be eating a lot of cheese. (TMI? Sorry!) And I'll also pick up a really good multi-vitamin to make up for limiting my diet so much. I should be taking one anyways. And after a few days I'm going to try really hard to get back to walking. I know I need the exercise and now that it's cooled off some I have no excuse, right? Maybe I can even manage to walk during lunch without coming back looking like a lobster.

I haven't said this in a while, but I really love our community. I love that ya'll really care about me and that you're not afraid to give me a reality check when I need one. Thanks for the accountability. Without ya'll I would have given up a long time ago. I know that I'm not really OP right now, but you ladies make me want to get back OP. (Mainly because I'm afraid of some of you and I know I'd really miss ya'll if I just stopped checking in!) :o) So, thanks a hoot! I love you bunches! :o)

Have wonderfully OP days (and pray that my carb detox doesn't end up in some sort of multi-person man-slaughter!)

Monday never looked so good...

Yay! I'm back! This past weekend has been so wild that it's actually nice to come into work and get back into my routine. I need routine.

We left out Thursday night and made it as far south as Montgomery. We slept in and lazed around a little Friday morning and headed into Auburn (which is a great town) and then went to our meeting. It went really well. I think that they liked us and I really liked them. Send me your email and I'll send out a mass email with all the details, okay? Even if I already have your addy, give it to me again because I can be a real ditz and you might miss out. I'm sure you're all just dying to receive your very own personal email from yours truly. :o)

We woke up at the butt crack of dawn on Saturday morning to make it to Atlanta by 9:30. (and we lost an hour going over the state line so we really woke up BEFORE the butt crack of dawn) The class was on Spiritual Maturity and Prayer and I really enjoyed the tools that she gave us. One of the books is a daily devotional and Jeremy and I have started using it every night before bed. It's really neat and it kinda spurns you to certain thoughts vs telling you what to think. Very cool. :o)

Sunday after church we took our kids to the Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville. I think everyone had a lot of fun and it was nice to get to spend the extra time with our "kids". When we first took on the Youth Ministry one of our girls was so shy and never would let you take her picture. When we got home last night and was scrolling through the digital camera we realized that this same girl voluntarily took a picture with me. Jeremy told me to pose next to a yellow submarine (because I like the Beatles...) and Hannah just decides to pose next to me. We have other pictures of her smiling and having a really good time. It really touches my heart. :o) My sweet hub also pulled out our photo album and had me look at some pictures taken in January, just before WW, and said, "Can you not see the huge difference in you now and then?" It was definitely a boost - especially after the non-OP weekend that I just had. Needless to say with all the running around I didn't make the best choices and the scale is back up to 190. But I know that most of that's just water retention and TOM so it'll be back down in no time. (I predict a big improvement by Wednesday).

I think I'm going low carb (not quite Atkins because I don't like the high fat) just for a few weeks and then switching back to something less restrictive. I guess I just want a few weeks of quick gratification. I can't seem to settle on anything before going somewhere and throwing everything out the window. Maybe I can stay in town for the next few weeks and stay OP! (Although the Fiddler's Convention is this weekend. I'm just gonna have to have some will power against those funnel cakes!) :o)

Well, I have tax returns to assemble so I really should stop rambling. I hope you all have wonderful OP days!! :o)

I'm so dizzy my head is spinnin'...

We bought a new chair this weekend, and so we decided to turn our inside/outside cat into a mainly outside cat. But the cat is such a creature of habit that he doesn't understand that he doesn't come in every morning to eat. I put his food outside the door where he can eat with the other kitty. Well, this morning I was trying to get out the door, and the cat was trying to get in, and I did this quick spin to block him while scooting out and now I'm incredibly dizzy. Hee. DizzyDazey is dizzy. Go Figure. :o)

That's totally unrelated to anything, I'm sure. But it's really my main focus this morning, as you might imagine.

I haven't focused on the weight loss in my blogs lately, so I suppose I should update you. I'm currently at 185.6 - which is about 5 pounds down from coming back from vacay but almost 2 pounds up from before the wedding. I'm ready to get out of the 180's, but I keep sabotaging myself, so I guess when I really get serious and stop playing around with it I'll see the 170's. In the meantime I'm not freaking out over it. Especially not this week. I'm just trying to make healthy choices and go on with life.

I'm doing a pretty good job about loving myself. It's been a little difficult this week because my tum has seemed bigger (remember the girdle?) but I'm just gonna chalk that up to TOM. My pants feel a little tighter, but the scale's basically the same so I guess it could be in my head. Meanwhile it's totally taken the focus off of my batwings. *rolls eyes* I'm such a silly thing. I have, however, made an effort to look cute the past few days and I think that's made a big improvement in my self esteem. It gets really old dressing up everyday since I only see two people and they're like family. On the rare occasion that we have a face to face with a client they see me for about 5 seconds. All this gives me little incentive to do much more than the bare minimum in the mornings (totally not a morning person) but I have been lately just for me.

I'm walking with Mom tonight and then we're packing for our trip. The hub is going to clean the house while I'm out so hopefully I'll come home to a nice clean house. (He's cleaning by himself because I wanted to do it last night, and had only asked him to handle the kitchen, but he said if we could watch Robo-Cop then he'd do it this afternoon. Deal!) :o)

We're going to Auburn on Friday and then Atlanta for a class on Saturday. Say a little prayer for us because this meeting is sorta a big deal.

So I'll be MIA until Monday, but I hope that you all have wonderful weekends!!
*smooches!* :o)

UPDATE!: Eeek! Jeremy just called and a said that he's decided we're heading down to Auburn tonight! I'm super excited about it, but come one! He's knows I'm a planner & I definitely didn't plan on this!! :o)

Hormone Monster

Well, it's that special time of month again. I haven't started TOM yet, but the PMS was in full force last night. I'm not quite sure what was up with me last night, or what triggered it exactly, but I ended up crying like a crazed marmoset last night. I was pretty good about not making untrue accusations, (like, "You think I'm ugly!" or, my personal favorite, "You left the toilet seat up because you think that my butt's too big for me to fall in! Well, I've got news for you mister - it's not and now my butts all wet!") but I did a fair bit of crying. (At one point just saying, "I just need to cry right now and I don't feel like making up a reason to justify it") Fortunately I didn't pick a fight with my long suffering husband, and he seems to deal with it much better if I don't try to make my emotional outbreaks his fault. I honestly have no idea that I'm being a hormone monster until it suddenly dawns on me, and then I feel really bad and cry about that for a little while. Then I'll get distracted by something and it's all better. I wish I wasn't like this, but I guess it's just me. At least I know that it's TOM and I'm not manic/depressive or something. (although I sorta wondered about it for a while until Jeremy pointed out that it was PMS)

I've tried switching to Yaz, but that just lead to crazy TOM's, making me think that I could be pregnant, which just lead to crazy crying jags more often. *rolls eyes* I'm sure PMS Mandy without birth control is going to be lots of fun. But it's one night every few months. I don't suppose it's the worse thing ever, and you know, it's not forever. There's always menopause. (j/k!)

My husband's really great about it. And I'm getting better about accepting the fact that it's just hormones and there's no need to torture him any more than he deserves it. (And I really want to, and he rarely deserves it)

It's kind of funny today, but it sure wasn't last night. Let's just hope my emotions hold up until Friday, because I really don't think that I'll make a good impression at our meeting if I'm saying, "You think I'm fat, don't you?" to complete strangers.

But on the up side I dont' have any cramps yet. Yay! :o)

I know it's unfair to complain to a group of woman about this sort of thing, but I figure that there's an off chance that one of you are a hormone monster during your special time of the month and you think that you're a possible manic/depressive, too. Now, after hearing my sordid tale you'll feel much better about yourself because you're not alone in the world. Maybe we need some sort of support group. Or maybe they should just start putting valium in those little "placebo" pills provided for the last week. I'd actually take them then!

Take care and have a wonderful OP day!

oh gosh we're getting old

The hub and I have an important meeting that we have to attend on Friday. It's in Auburn, which is about four hours away from here, and we really want to make a good impression. So we went shopping last night for new clothes to wear. My wardrobe is bone thin, and I realized yesterday that I was wearing black pants that I have stopped wearing 20 pounds ago, so of course I needed new ones. I found a really nice pair really cheap ($5.40 to be exact) so I bought them and a cute top to match. When I tried them on at home I realized that I had lumps where lumps didn't used to be. Intrigued, I looked further into the issue and realized that the tops of my thighs have shrunk while my love handles haven't. It's funny because I never remember this being a problem when I was this size before. But then again, I was still in my teens when I was this size before, and my body is now 5 years older. And now I need a girdle. :o) It really doesn't bother me at all - I'll find one that's comfortable but smooths out my lovely lady lumps. (Somehow I don't think that's what Fergie was talking about...)

Jeremy found a pair of khakis that he liked and tried them on. I, of course, had to give them the final okay before the purchase, and I said, "Something looks funny" and he said, "I'm wearing them higher up like you're supposed to" See, he's been wearing his pants low, like around his hips because that's the way he always wore his pants. (I think because his hips are smaller than his stomach...) It didn't look bad like he had a beer gut or anything. Maybe that's just how guys wear them. But now that he's dressing like a grown up he's wearing them at his waist. And it looked old. I didn't tell him that he looked old, but I definitely thought it. But who am I to tell him how to wear his pants? All I can do is make sure he doesn't get pleats or something. He'll still look nice, but man, we're getting old! I thought that I was going to freak out when he got his minister's robe. He looked like a complete stranger. It's weird to see your husband in stuff like that. That's what old man preachers wear! :o)

We've always teased that we're much older than our actual age, and now we're dressing like it! Well, not me. I may be a bonified preacher's wife, but I refuse to dress like it. (now that sounds like I run around looking like a tramp. Really I don't. I'm too much of a prude, plus I don't think anyone really wants to see cellulite. But when you start handing out the orthopedic shoes and suits in colors that would make the Easter bunny blush and hair that has to be rolled in toilet paper - count me out) (Now I've just stereotyped my own kind in a parenthetical statement - oh the shame!!) Back to the point. I may wear a girdle but that's where I draw the line.

Now, with all the things that's wrong with the world, I chose to waste your time on my underwear. I hope that it at least made you giggle.

I hope you all have wonderful OP days!

these things I can accept

I'm so sick and tired of tearing myself apart for my shortcomings. No one is perfect. No one looks perfect, no one says just the right thing all the time or is able to keep her to do list done before vegging in front of the tv.

Here's the deal: We, as women, have struggled ever since the Victorian age to be seen as human, right? We want equal rights, we want our voices heard, and we no longer try to portray this image of ourselves that is unnatural. We no longer expect ourselves to be Donna Reid - perfect dress (with a crinoline, of course) perfect apron, perfect coif, smile, nails while cleaning up after our messy noisy men. We're telling our husbands, boyfriends, fathers, sons & friends, "Look - we're real!"

So we might have convinced our guys that imperfections are what's really beautiful, but why aren't we covincing ourselves? As I look at other women, I can see the beauty in many of them. Sarah Jessica Parker, while a completely gorgeous woman with a kickin sense of style, isn't exactly your typical beauty. And yet I love her. It's not her perfections that make her beautiful to me, it's her quarky inperfections. The list could go on and on. But stops when I look into the mirror.

There are days that I look in the mirror and think, "Well, you do have a cute nose and pretty eyes...". In fact, I had one of those moments this morning. That all came crashing down when I looked at a picture of me on my sister's myspace. I didn't like my face at all. I didn't like anything about the picture - and it wasn't half bad.

So I'm tired of it. I'm tired of perpetuating this self-loathing that surrounds all woman. High self-esteem or low, we all do it. And the Buck stops here.

These are the things that I'm going to accept, nay celebrate, about myself from now on:
(if, when reading this you find it horribly narsassitic, then blah you. It is narsassistic because it's about me. It's my blog. :o) )

1. I can't take a good picture for the life of me. Because a still photograph has a hard time capturing what's pretty about me. It's not one second of my life but all my past, present, and future and all the ways that it's made me me. That's my real beauty.

2. I will forever sing constantly and annoy my husband.

3. I will never have the time, patience, or gumption to have a rock hard body. My arms may always be a little flabby. So what? Just don't wear a sleeveless shirt. Problem solved.

4. I will always love junk food. Eating healthy foods will never become my choice. I will do it because it is healthy for me and my family, and I will enjoy eating these healthy foods, but I will always enjoy junk more. I can either eat junk 24/7 and be 240 again, or I can eat healthy foods and be slimmer. I choose to walk the line and just be regular size. Not fat nor thin. The average person doesn't even label me as either one now. I'm just normal size. I'm realizing that woman I think are skinnier than me are actually my size. I was down about my weight last Friday and Jeremy said, "No one thinks anything about your size but you". And he's right. My mom has been saying stuff recently like, "Just don't go too far..." and I realize now that it's because she sees that I have an unhealthy view of myself. And it's this low body image that's making me yo-yo (even if it is just a few pounds right now) I've blogged about this before, but it didn't stick. I'm sticking it now.

5. I'm not going to keep my house perfectly clean. My cooking won't taste as good as Jeremy's momma's (because I dont' cook with lard...) and my children may not always look or act perfectly, but I'm already a dang good wife and I will be a great mother. Because I love my husband and I already love my children enough to keep trying until I get it right. My family doesn't need perfection from me - they just need the best me they can get. And if I'm constantly thrashing myself for not always getting it right then they can't get the best of me. Besides, if I don't let my family see my faults then they might grow up expecting the same perfection from themselves and then they'll have the same mental trauma that I have. :o)

So I'm going to start loving myself more and expecting less. I'm going to lose down to 175 because that's what I've decided was a good weight for me, but I'm going to buy whatever size 175 is. If it's a 40W then I'm going to buy it. Because I know that I look pretty good at this weight, and if I keep trying to achieve perfection then it's never gonna happen. I'm going to keep active, exercise moderately, and take some of the time I spend in front of the mirror hating what I see and spend that time learning something that I want to know. I bet I could learn to knit in the time I spend putting myself down. Wouldn't it be a lot cooler to be able to make my own scarves than it would be to keep being my own worse critic?

Mandy-Core :o)

Amanda said that I could do Mandy-Core, so I'm gonna. (Cause she's the boss of me)

Mandy-Core looks a lot like WW Core, only I'm not such a stickler for the snack rules. It's more like common sense dieting. Eat healthy foods, don't over do it on any one thing, and eat until satisfied, but not stuffed. We'll try it and see. And I'll still get in my daily good health stuff.

Other than that nothing too exciting going on here. The scale is down to 186.6 this morning and I can handle that. Only a couple more pounds and I'll be back down to my lowest.

The hub has volunteered to go shopping this weekend, and you know I'm all about that. And this Sunday is the first day of fall! Yay! I'm so excited about the cooler but not freezing cold weather! I have this really cute corduroy blazer that I just bought and I can't wait to get to wear it! :o)

I hope you all have wonderfully OP weekends!!
See you Monday!

groove is in the move

My title has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Except for the fact that I stayed Core all of yesterday. Even when I got home from work and the hub was eating junk. Go me! *doing cabbage patch* It feels sooo good to have a good day. Now I know that I'll have a good day today, too, because I want to keep it going.

The scale was nice this morning, too. Down 188. That's about 3 down from the vacay, so I'm sure a bunch of it's water weight. Hopefully all of it's water weight and I can get back to the low 180's soon. (Then 170's here I come!) It just seems do-able today. Ever since I figured out 25 pounds would equal 165 I've been highly motivated. It's weird the mind games we play with ourselves, but whatever works, right?

I just finished up my yumo breakfast of apple cinnamon oatmeal, 2 slices of turkey bacon, and a cup of green tea. I'll have to eat out for lunch today, which is really hard on Core, but I can get away with a baked potato and a protein from somewhere. I'll actually cook supper tonight so I'll have leftovers for lunch tomorrow. That's the hardest part about Core - lunch. But I'll get it down pat soon. And I'm sure the hub will like me cooking more.

Bless his heart. I noticed that his pants were a little too tight the other night and he said that they're shrinking. I think the way he's been eating lately has a lot to do with that, but when I hinted at it he got a little defensive. I don't care if he looses weight, but I'd like for him to at least maintain so we don't have to keep buying new clothes. Besides, that's just not healthy. So maybe Core will help him loose, too. He rebels when I'm on Core, though, because I never buy any junk food (even low point junk usually doesn't get bought) and then he starts going through the DT's. :o)

I did break a Core rule yesterday. I ate a grilled chicken finger as a snack. With pineapples dumped on top of it. It was soo yum, and I really couldn't see that it was going to hurt me as long as I don't make it a habit. And I have a question for you Core peeps: Do ya'll know if FF Kettle Corn is Core? I really think that it's technically not, but I'm gonna eat it anyways. It has basically the same NI as plain FF popcorn, so who cares? Besides, that and fruit are the only sweet things I eat while rocking Core.

Okay, this is getting waay longer than I had intended, so I'm gonna just shut up now. :o)

I hope you all have wonderfully OP days!!

note to self

Dear Mandy,

What's the deal, girl? You have a million different excuses for not getting back OP, and, quite frankly I'm sick of them. No matter who or what you may want to blame it on, it's really just you. You're in control of your life and you're choosing not to do what you know you need to do. Get back in the game! You've come waay too far to stop now. Besides, if you lose 25 more pounds you'll be smack dab in the 160's. How awesome will that feel?

You've agreed to join Randi's Christmas Challenge, and you're not going to waif out on this one. (Do I need to remind you of the CP25K debacle? No? I didn't think so.) You've gotta somehow conquer this addiction to food, home girl. And you really need to move more. No wonder you're feeling flabby. *rolls eyes* Use the good sense that God has given you! Sheesh!

You need to love yourself more than the way that you've been treating yourself. You're not a human garbage disposal, and there's much more to life than food! Don't forget that it's much easier for healthy weight women to conceive than it is for over weight woman.

You know what works, so why aren't you doing it? Oh, again with the excuses, eh? Well, no more of those. I don't care if it's a month before you manage to go grocery shopping - you're still going to stay OP. And really, last night? You so could have gone. You just didn't want to because of that whole Barnhill's Buffet thing. (Oh, you didn't want me to tell everyone? Ooops, I'm sorry!) So get your act together!

Now, real quick before they all start to think you're totally schizophrenic - I love you. I only say this because I know it's the best thing for you. I hope I wasn't too hard on you, but I'm really excited to see the scale move in the right direction. Because I know you're gonna get over this hump, stop kicking your own ass, and start kicking ass for real, like right now.

Sincerely,
Mandy

about 75% angel

I behaved myself much better yesterday. I wasn't a perfect angel, and I accidentally drank some sweet tea at my Gran's house (seriously, I didn't think anything about it until it was too late) but it was definitely an improvement from the food free for all that was the last two weeks. The scale was down a little bitty bit this morning so that was nice. Maybe a lot of this is water weight. All I know is that I'm all ramped up to get started for real. I haven't felt pumped up about WW in a while, so I guess I made the right decision to take a break. I guess I needed it - but I proally went a little too far. :o)

I didn't make it to the grocery store yesterday but I'm bound and determined to go today. Everyone else is at a seminar out of town today so I'll have plenty of time today at work to find all of my favorite Core recipes and maybe a few new ones. I'm really bad about not cooking, but Core really makes me get my life more organized. (Because apparently my life still is centered around food...) It's really how I want my family to eat so maybe since starting a family is actually becoming feasible then I'll be more dedicated.

All I know is that I've had baby fever forever now and it's crazy to think that we could be trying soon. (This is all wrapped up in that big secret that I can't share yet...) I know that you're not supposed to do WW while pregnant, but I think that Core would be a good guideline to help me not gain too much. I'm hypoglycemic, and the women in my family have a history of gestational diabetes. That, coupled with the fact that I was over nine pounds and Jeremy was nearly 10, makes me hyper aware of keeping everything in check. :o)

Okay, sorry. Enough about talking about stuff that's not even happening yet. :o) I'm just soo excited. :o)

Alright. That's enough for me. I wanna hear what's up with ya'll now.

I hope everyone has a great OP day!!

playing catch up

Hello Ladies!!

I'm back! The beach was great. We had so much fun. Lots of beach time, lots of seafood and fries, and lots of family time. I think it's the best vacation I've been on for years. And we were gone just long enough for me to be ready to come back home. Perfecto all around.

I hopped on the scale this morning and it was bad. Real bad ugly. 191 point something. That's a huge gain from just before the wedding, and I knew it was going to be scary.

But I told myself that I was taking a break, and this icky feeling that I have right now (clothes too tight, being able to see the gain in my face, etc) is definitely enough incentive to get back on track. I think that I'm going to go Core for a while, and then switch back to counting points when I start feeling burned out. I'd really like to lose about 20 pounds and then see how I feel there. I'm still not going for stick skinny - I just don't like feeling this fluffy. (actually right now I feel down right fat - but after a few days I'll feel better I'm sure)

One of my reasons for not wanting to have a real low goal weight is the fact that we might (Lord willing) be able to start trying to have a baby soon. Like maybe hopefully possibly before the year is over. And since I don't know how hard it will be to lose the baby weight I won't set my goals too high. But I definitely want to adopt a healthier lifestyle that includes exercise. And I'm tired of my bat wings! They must go!! :o)

I've spent some time trying to catch up with all of you this morning, and I'm so excited about all the good things that are happening in your lives!! I'm uber excited about our girl StrawGirl expecting another baby! Yay! I'm so happy for you!! Congratulations again! (again!) :o) Your meez is too precious, and I love the pix of your DS's T-Shirt! What a cute way to break the good news!!

So that's about it for me. I really need to go grocery shopping, but since today is Corporate Tax Extension Deadline who knows if I'm going to be able to go tonight. If not then I'll just limp my way through Core until Tuesday. I might have to break a few little rules today, but I'm going to start kickin ask for real tomorrow. :o)

I hope you all have wonderfully OP days!!

oh joy!

Yay! We're leaving for vacay tomorrow and I'm so excited!!

I've been running around crazy trying to get everything done, but I wanted to stop in and say Hi and to let you know that I'm still alive. :o)

I'm loving the break from WW - but I bet I'll have a lot of work to do when I get back. Oh well, I'm not gonna let that stop me from having a good time. :o)

So I hope everyone has wonderfully super weeks & I'll see you on Monday!

*smooches!*

weightwatchen confessional

Morning Ladies!

I know I've been MIA the past few days, but work has been crazy and I've been bad. Not horrible, but definitely not OP. I've decided to "take a break" until after the vacay and then hit it hard Core. I'm sure some of you don't love this idea, but I just don't have the gumption to get back OP and then face going to the beach with the family and screwing it all up again. So I'll wait and then really focus in on losing this last 10 or 15 pounds. I just don't want to get complacent with myself before I hit my goal. You know?

The hub is out of town again, but he'll be back today. We'll take it easy on Saturday because Sunday is jammed packed with church stuff and a baby shower. (yay! I love baby showers!!) Then next Wednesday we're leaving for the beach. Yay! My bathing suit is a size too big, but I don't care. It's just family, and since I don't like to swim in the ocean and the house we've rented doesn't have a pool I doubt if I'll be doing any actual swimming. At least this way it'll be comfy, right? :o)

I don't have much to say (shocker, I know) so I guess that's about it for today.

I hope everyone has wonderful weekends!!