I went to WI last night and I have maintained - again! It’s disappointing and frustrating, but it’s made me realize something. I started this journey with the idea that I wanted to improve myself for my future children. To have a healthy pregnancy was my biggest motivation, but some how I’ve warped this into a vanity issue. If I were honest with myself (which I’m trying to be) I would admit that I really just want to lose weight to look good. I want to be skinny. I want to be able to wear whatever I want, and if I want to prance about in a bikini, I want to be able to with pride. There’s just one problem with that: it’s wrong. I’m sorry, it may not be wrong for you, but it’s wrong for me.
It’s one thing to want to be healthy, but it’s another to want other people to look at you and base your worth on your appearance. My husband has thought that I was beautiful all along, and other people’s opinion’s of my appearance really shouldn’t matter to me. (and for the most part, they don’t)
So, with all that being said, I’m returning to my original purpose- to learn habits that I would want my children to have. But rather than carrying on with this vague mission statement, I’ve decided to specifically list the habits that I want my children to have. (as they relate to me, of course)
1) I want my children to make good food choices. - Junk food is okay every now and then, but I want my kids to eat healthy foods on a regular basis.
2) I want my children to have an active lifestyle - watching TV isn’t a horrible thing, but watching TV all night, every night is.
3) I want my children to clean up after themselves - okay, this seems like something I would have down pat right now, but if you were to see the current state of my house you would totally understand.
4) I want my children to drink lots of water - everyone knows that most kids don’t get enough H2O, and I definitely don’t.
I think these just about sum it all up. These are the habits that I want to have. I know that if I do these things I will lose weight, but I don’t want to care so much about that anymore. I’m trying to make self-improvement my main goal, and if that also registers on the scale it’ll be an extra bonus.
So I’m going to keep on following WW’s Core plan. It’s an easy program and I can make sure that I eat well-balanced meals. I’ll still go to WI and all that jazz, but I really think that I need an “inside makeover” before I can be truly happy with the ways that I’ve changed on the outside.
Thanks for listening and have a great OP day!