lost and found

One week. Seven days. 168 hours. That's how long I've been totally off plan, and it's gotta stop.

I got on the scale this morning and it said 193. This time last week it was saying 187. That's so not good that I don't even really want to think about it. But I HAVE to address this because if I don't it'll just keep spiraling out of control.

I knew I went a little overboard on the 4th, and I knew that I wasn't making the healthiest choices while camping, but I thought that I could reel it back in when we came home. No such luck. We eat at the church every night for VBS and the food is so stinking good that I don't resist. Sunday night was pancake night. Did I skip the "better butter"? (which is real butter mixed with Olive Oil) nope. Did I say, "hey here's some sugar free syrup, let's make a healthier choice?" nope. Even last night, which was Hamburger night, I could have ate a ton of the raw veggies there but did I? no way. I didn't even give up the cake like I had promised I would. In fact, I cut myself a bigger slice of cake than was cut for the kiddos. Fortunately I realized what I had done and only had about five bites, but COME ON! What gives?

I'm beginning to think that it's never going to come naturally to me. I'm always going to have to think about what I'm eating. I believe Colette (pardon me if I'm wrong) blogged recently about a friend of her child's asking "are you ever going to not be on a diet?" and when I read that I thought, "I'm not." There's never going to be a point when I just magically make Skinny Girl choices. It'll be a constant battle, BUT it's worth it.

I was thinking about all this this morning when I weighed myself and I thought, "I'm not going to be able to get back on track as long as VBS is running" then I realized that I need to practice what I preach. I've said countless times to ya'll to just start over RIGHT NOW - not tomorrow or next week because then it might not ever happen. So I'm starting over again. (AGAIN!!!)

I know some of the weight may be because of (TMI ALERT!) the fact that I didn't do "#2" the entire time I was away, and I know that I'm not completely cleaned out (so to speak). I just couldn't go in the woods. I may be Nature Girl now, but I'm not Gorilla Woman. I also know for a fact that I didn't get enough water because I battled an on coming UTI the entire time. So maybe after a few days of system flushing I'll lose some of the found weight. I'm thinking about researching colon cleanses, too. Note the words "thinking" and "researching" - I believe that it could be beneficial (from what I know about it) but I also believe that some stuff is a hoax.

Speaking of hoax, I was trying to figure out yesterday what I can do differently to try to get ramped back up about losing weight. There's a lot of crap and gimmicks out there, but I'm hoping that today I'll find something that will work for me. I know that WW works, but I need something new to be excited about for a little while to boost me and then maybe I'll switch back to flex. (or I might just do Core again for a little while...)

So I'm totally up for suggestions. I WILL do better tonight at VBS and not see that bounty of food as a free for all for Mandy. I WILL drink mucho mucho water today and continue to do so until I feel like a camel. I'm really trying to cut out caffeine and am seriously considering reducing the amounts of aspartame I consume. It's an insane amount, and they say it's not good for you. (It's also not good to be overweight, though, and I'll chose aspartame over flab if it comes down to it)

So that's enough garbadly gook for today. Thanks for hanging in there with me and getting to the end of this blog!!

I hope everyone has a great OP day!